Dave, I can't remember whether you were Army or Marines??? Duh.....

BFRDMR: I know but it works for me or it use to

BFRDMR: army lrrpS

 it necessary to stay inside cos I'm afraid I'll kill someone

 

BFRDMR  SAME HERE nEVER  TALKED TO ANYONE WITH SAME PROBLEM

 that's a good reason

I feel I have to protect other people from me.

BFRDMR  out in 84 to go back to school  took out a prof talking about the NAM

BFRDMR  Have a VA shrink Ive been working with for the past 5 years

BFRDMR  She comes to me

BFRDMR  I go absolutly nowhere

..

BFRDMR  took over twenty years of VA bullshit and me hurting someone for it

to happen

BFRDMR  Eagle ever since you mentioned MS last week Ive been messed up

same here

sorry to hear that dave

BFRDMR  Grandfather had it  Died at 60 Father had it died at 60  mulipule amputations IRINIC

BFRDMR  IRONIC

 

BFRDMR  tell me possible

BFRDMR  Ive got enough problems without the leg and all srew that

BFRDMR  I ignore them

BFRDMR  there it is

BFRDMR  iceing on the cake Jamie never called

You want me to send you the log from last night when I talked with Bev?

Or I think it was Dave pretending to be Bev

 

 

 Scary, Dave.  How did you handle it?

BFRDMR  It was a standoff me ; my 12 Gauge 1 45 cal and lots of cops

BFRDMR  I freaked one Para medic told the cops to back off and came in

BFRDMR  once he was sure I was cool he left

BFRDMR   that was my first night   fun

    you traveling with guns?

BFRDMR  long story short Jamie decided she wants to stay in NY with her FATHER  (STEP)  but still at grandfathers

How old is Jamie, Dave?

BFRDMR  called uncles ,aunts cousins   left messages none returned

BFRDMR  15

BFRDMR  I called her tonight

 

BFRDMR  they still think im dead

BFRDMR  probably right

 Why do they think you're dead?

BFRDMR  Jamie told me she was confused when we spoke tonight

 That is understandable.  Confused about what?

BFRDMR  she blames me for leaving her 14 years ago

 Hmm.  Dave, it is hard to try to explain that to a kid her age. Really hard.

BFRDMR  her mother told her I gave her drugs when she was a baby   bullshit

 

BFRDMR  we never talked about anyof thisw

BFRDMR  mother also told her I left  SHE LEFTME AND JAMIE alone for 6 months

 

BFRDMR  jamie doesnt know this

 

 Right now, you couldn't take care of her anyway

 When she's a little older, she might come to you of her own accord

BFRDMR: Ive thought it out from every angle it still doesnt stop the hurting

Dave, I know it's painful for you.

But you did all you could for now

BFRDMR: it dont mean nothing

He's as nice as can be on the phone

.

 would almost expect him to attempt it again in the very nearfuture......

 He told me he had driven his car into a brick wall, but it didn't work

 talked in note about fear of death.... talked again on line about he may die....may get

killed and wasnt afraid.....

Well, no use in staying if he's gone--and he might get killed

Now is not a good time for all of us....and his other shit dont help.

 if te kids been thrown out..mom doesnt want her, stepdad threw her out...where's the threat?

Subj:   Re: PROTESTERS WHO JUMPRD Dave

Date:   97-03-27 11:13:20 EST

My point was that off all people  Dave didnt and doesnt need to be harrassed

by anyone for his and our service to this nation . He has recently spent alot

of time in the Hospital and as too proud to tell how those whi attacked hin

upset him man . I Knowyou""dont care about me being a nam vet"" but I have

great concern for vets . I was there as wee manu other and irs time to help

those like Dave live what time they have lefr in pace . While in the VA when

the doctors were messing with whats left of his legs { Not Much Vet66A} .

Thet did a routine physical and found shadows in Dav's Chest cavity two were

large and some smaller ones also one on his brain . They ran test on him 

catscan and many others and at this point it doest kook good . The VA

suggested Chemo be started immiediatly but Dave said no . He has simply given
up . My letter was not for ME hell Om fine it was ment to let you know one

hell of a man is dying piece by piiece and is looking for someone to talk

with . I am not that person Vet I cant talk about the Nam thets my problem as

I stated Im fine . . I live a very solitary life alone and dont need a thing 

 "it dont mean nothing "  but I met Dave by happenestance and have foundhim

to be agressive at times as a result ofhis pain but the man loves his warrior

brothers and is alone . Thankyou for writing back I know theres little any of

can do but I see no reason to let Dave die alone .. Do you ??  Nice talking

with you even if you dont care about my being a nam veteran . Your right why

should you care .   

Subj:   Re: Thoughts on e-mail you've been sending me

Date:   96-09-23 12:48:45 EDT

From:   BFRDMR

Joe they will if they already havent forgotten us . What of the  thousands of Nam vets who have died as the result of car crases self inflicted gun shot wounds over dose on pill or other drfugs or those who simply came home and disappeaed Im one of the later Joe I havent been out of this house in 15 years not even to the mail box my wife handles everything Im reaDY TO KILL MY SELF EVERY DAY AND IF NOT FOR HER i WOULD . tHE PAIN  iM IN IS UNBEARABLE AND THE MEDS i TAKE ARE MAILED TO ME BY THE va   A va DOC COMES HERE OMCE A MONTH , tHATS THE ONLY COMMUNICATION i HAVE WITH ANY LIVING SOUL mY rAGE IS PAINFUL TO LIVE WITH THEY SAY ITS A RESULT OF THE PAIN . i KNOW IT WONT BE LONG BEFORE i PULL THE TRIGGER jOE oR EAT ALL THE PILLS NO ONE CARES MAN iVE BEEN ALONE TO LONG i CANT TELL THE REAL WORLD FROM FANTASY THIS PUTER IS MY ONLY OUTLET AND YOU MY ONLY CONTACT iM NOT SORRY i SERVED IN THE NAM BUT I AM SORRY THEY WERENT HERE FOR US WHEN WE CAME HOME MY PTSD IS 100% NO LEGS AND MY HEAD SCREAMS IF THERES A GOD HELL GIVE ME SOME PEACE BEFORE I DIE THATS NOT SO MUCH TO ASK SORRY TO TAKE UP ALL YOUR TIME AND MY CAPS BUTTON IS STUCK BUT IT DONT MEAN NOTHIN bRO

THANKS FOR KEEPING IN TOUCH FOR ME YOUR ALL THE CONTACT I HAVE MY WIFE QUIT TRYING A LONG  LONG TIME AGO AND I CANT BLAME HER MAYBE TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE WELLSEE 

IF NOT MAYBE TOMOROW OR THE NEXT DAY BUT ITS COMING SOON JOE REAL SOON THERE MUST BE PEACE IN DEATH  THERE JUST MUST   I CRY FOR THIS NATION OF THOSE WHO DONT CARE